FROM COERDIAN CHICAGO: I need to report something odd that happened at yesterday’s big meeting with the Board of Trade governors and the agricultural conglomerates. We had it all under control PDQ, but it should go on the record. During the meeting, someone in the Dre Beets Foods delegation had some kind of psychotic freak-out — witnesses said he started yammering about microbes in the ceiling trying to achieve global domination by buying up all the silver bullion in the world. SecTeam subdued him, and our Tech Services guys scanned him and found that he had an unconventional glasware rig — he was an X-wired, basically. So he got sent home under a diagnosis of cybernetic psychosis. His career of doing whatever he was doing for Dre Beets Foods is probably over, poor guy.
We’re still investigating why Dre Beets Foods brought an X-wired with them to what should have been a simple business meeting. Haven’t had time to interview everyone from Dre Beets Foods yet. Not sure it will make any difference in the end, though. — General Manager, Chicago.